The Relationship Difference by Rommel Anacan
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Are You Triggering What You Don't Want? 

4/11/2013

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A little while ago, my wife and I had a craving for "fourth meal" and nothing in our home seemed to fit the bill, so I decided to get some "El Pollo Loco." As I pulled up to the drive through window, I heard a voice say, "Would you like to try our new carnitas chicken bowl?" I said, "NO, thanks!"

You see, I have been trained to quickly shoot down any attempts at "suggestive selling" by anyone using this sales technique on me. After all, if I wanted fries with my order, I would have ordered it. If I wanted to add churros or a dessert, I would have done it already. Now back up pushy and give me the food that I asked for!
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Don't you hate it when the waiter at a restaurant goes through the whole list of "specials" for the evening and suggests a dish that you should order, when you already know exactly what you want to eat. Or, how about when a sales person brings out ten other pairs of shoes for you to try on, with the one pair of shoes you asked for? In many of these situations, experience has conditioned me to automatically reject and say "no" to any attempt to upsell me. 
Here's the funny thing with my El Pollo Loco story-I saw the carnitas bowl on the menu prior to coming up to the speaker and had planned on ordering it! But, once I heard the voice on the other end begin to suggest what I should order, I immediately tuned it out and said "no" to what I had planned on ordering in the first place.

Have you ever come home and noticed your spouse or significant other looking really ticked off at the world? So you start to walk around on "pins and needles" because your partner is in a bad mood. Maybe you start to think, "What is wrong with YOU?!?!?!? I was in a good mood until I came home and saw you!"

Then you find out that s/he wasn't in a bad mood at all when you came home, it just looked like it! Unfortunately your reacting to his/her bad mood, triggered the bad mood in your spouse. S/he was doing fine until s/he saw the grumpiness in your eyes! Which made her wonder, "Geez! What is wrong with you???" Now you're both irritated, when neither of you really were, when the night began.

Have you found yourself metaphorically asking people over and over again, "Would you like fries with that?", with no one taking you up on that offer. Sometimes the very thing you're doing, is the one thing you're supposed to avoid. 

In what ways have you conditioned the people in your life to automatically reject or tune you out? Have you noticed a pattern where you seem to be getting the opposite results of what you wanted?

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    Rommel Anacan

    I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm also
    the president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

    My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively. 

    More about me and this blog here!

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