Hi Everyone!
In today's video blog Rommel talks about turn signals . . . you know those things in our cars that so many people don't use! If you like this video please comment and share it with your friends. 

If you are a fan of the National Football League (NFL) you know that the league began the first few weeks of the 2012 season using "replacement refs." The NFL and the referee's union could not reach a contract agreement prior to the start of the season, so the NFL locked the regular referees out and brought in replacements until a new deal could be agreed to with the union. 

While the replacements did the best job that they could, it was apparent that they were, as a whole, in over their heads. In fact, the whole thing was a huge disaster! Millions of frustrated fans watched games where the refs called phantom fouls, didn't call hugely obvious penalties, and seemed to have little control over the game. 

The "tipping point" seemed to come in a nationally televised game between the Green Bay Packers and Seattle Seahawks. An end of the game ruling by the referees gave the victory to the Seahawks, when it seemed clear that the Packers should have been the ones to win the game. 

What went wrong?

“Ordinary people are the ones that do extraordinary things. YOU have a purpose to your life and there is a place reserved only for you. Wherever you are. However you are. Style points don't matter! All that does matter is that you do what you were meant to do!”

A few days ago I posted this quote of mine on The Relationship Difference Facebook page. One of my friends read the quote and asked the question, 

“What if you don’t know what you are meant to do?”

Oooh. That was a great question. And one that made me pause before answering. (If you know me, you know that is sometimes hard for me to do.) Here is the essence of what I said in response back to her question. 

I think there are two main things to consider. On the logical side, all of us are wired uniquely. And in many ways what we're meant to do is often related to how we're created to be. For example, when I look at my whole life story the common denominator was wanting to motivate and encourage and teach others. 

From elementary school and beyond, I was always the guy on stage, making a speech. I was the one who had the overblown skits, that were often entertaining and funny. No one needed to teach me how to speak or perform in front of an audience; I really think I was just wired to be able to do so. 

On the flip side I was terrible at higher level math and science. While I felt really smart in history and English classes, I felt awfully dumb in algebra and physics! When I was a kid I wanted to be a pilot, but then I had to come to grips with the fact that my brain wasn't wired to do that aeronautical engineering stuff, even though I wanted to. If I continued to try to become a military pilot I know I would have kept running into the proverbial brick wall and would have still fallen short. 

On the emotional front, deciphering what you are meant to do can be harder because many things can bury the passions and desires you have. I have a good friend who I believe was born to be an entrepreneur, but his life experience has taught him to play it safe in the corporate world. He's miserable, but I don't know if he will ever break out of it. 

But I think one of the clues you'd want to consider is what are the first things that you think of when your mind thinks about doing something else? Is there something that you'd almost do for free?  Is there something that just makes your heart light up whenever you're doing it, thinking about it, working towards it?

I realize this is one very simple answer to a very complex question...but I hope it will give you some food for thought. 

Now it's your turn! How have you handled this question in your life?

Fans of "Seinfeld" will recognize the above lines from the first and final episodes of the iconic show. And I have to tell you, Jerry Seinfeld was absolutely correct; the second button really does make or break a shirt. For something so small, it can really make the difference between a favorite shirt and one that remains in the back of the closet. 

For instance, I have a white shirt that I just don't wear very often. Since it is my only casual, cotton white button-down shirt, I end up wanting to use it a lot. Then I put it on (again) and realize (again) that it just doesn't feel right. So back in the closet it goes. 

What's wrong with it? Yep, the second button! If I button it I look like someone from the Geek Squad. If I don't button it, it looks like I never left the 70's and 80's when the unbuttoned shirt was "in" for men. So, the white shirt only comes out a couple of times a year when I am in some type of  dire need for a casual white shirt.  

How could such a small thing have such a big effect?

The presidential election is less than two months away and, as with all elections, there have been comments that both candidates have made that they wished they didn't say; or wish they said in another way. 

Today's video blog discusses a recent statement made by President Barack Obama. 

(Note: After this video was created Republican Mitt Romney made some comments about the electorate that he later said were "inelegantly stated.")

Remember the group Chicago? Well, over the past few days I’ve been on a Chicago kick , listening to them whenever I’m in my car. On my way to the McDonalds play place with my daughter, so she could play and I could work, we were both cruising down the road to more Chicago. (By the way, my daughter really seems to like “Saturday in the Park.”)

Before we pulled in, “If You Leave Me Now” started and I, of course started to sing along with Peter Cetera. Here’s the deal; I did fine with the,

“If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me.”

Then I got to the part that says,

“Woooooo oh no baby please don’t go!”

Big. Problem. 

I could feel the muscles in my throat constrict and tighten up and the sound coming out of my mouth was not quite the same as coming out of the car speakers. 

I have been singing, seemingly, all my life. Yet, I have a baritone voice. And unfortunately Peter Cetera hits notes just a tad bit higher than my range. Okay . . . a lot higher, so when I tried to use my falsetto voice to hit the notes, my throat seemed to respond with, “What do you think you’re doing?”  

Remember the Toyota Echo? The Echo debuted in the U.S. in 1999 and was Toyota’s attempt to capture the American youth market, which had traditionally avoided Toyota’s conservative line-up of cars. The hope was that the young buyer would purchase an Echo, and love Toyota so much that they would then move up to Toyota’s other cars (like Corolla and Camry) as they grew older.

As someone who owned an Echo, I can tell you that it was very roomy inside (especially for a subcompact car), offered loads of storage, was easy to drive and had the legendary Toyota reliability. There was just one problem . . . the Echo as configured for the U.S. was considered ugly! 

As the race for baseball's postseason continues to heat up Rommel talks about the secrets of success that can be learned from Atlanta Braves third baseman Chipper Jones. If you like this video, we ask that you comment, join in the conversation and share it with a friend! 

Just outside of our local library is a steel beam (pictured above) that was once part of one of the towers in the World Trade Center in New York. When I first saw the beam last year, it moved me. I touched the rusted metal almost so I could connect with the events of that day. Lately, I still see the memorial as I pull into the parking lot, but it doesn’t move me as often or as deeply as it used to. Sometimes, I don’t even notice it like I used to.

It some ways, haven’t you found that our reactions to what happened on September 11, 2001 have followed a similar pattern? Eleven years after the attack, there seem to be fewer flags flying in our neighborhoods. There are fewer cars with “God Bless America” bumper stickers. Perhaps we’re not as worried about another attack on our homeland as we were a decade ago. It seems to me that we are not as united as we were. 

I guess things have returned to normal. 

As a child, I really enjoyed playing with dominoes. I didn’t play with them the “official” way (in fact it was only after I married my wife that I finally learned how to play the game). Instead I just lined them up for the sole purpose of watching them fall down!

When I was setting up the dominoes, the big challenge was to avoid accidentally knocking one of them down, before I was finished. I can recall countless times watching in disbelief as all of the dominoes fell, before I wanted them to, and I watched my hard work go to waste. I would then have to pick up the pieces and start all over again.

Sometimes, as I was creating the lines and patterns that I wanted the dominoes to fall in, someone else would come by and tip a domino over to start the chain reaction. It used to anger me knowing that these kids got a huge kick out of ruining my plans. (Although, I’ll admit, I did this to other kids as well!)

Negative chain reaction

The bad news is that our relationships can work in the same way. I have been in far too many occasions where my words and/or my actions set in motion a chain reaction that caused damage to a relationship.

Sometimes my actions were born of ignorance. As we’ve discussed previously, we all speak different (personality, love, emotional) languages and I didn’t realize that what I was saying to someone had an entirely different meaning to that person.

Other times my actions were like that of the husband in a commercial who, when asked by his wife if a dress made her look fat, answered, “You betcha!” He was preoccupied with something else and didn’t really listen to her, which led him to answer carelessly. You can tell by his wife’s reaction that he is in serious trouble!

In other occasions, I would be like the kid who knocked down the dominoes that I set up. I knew that what I was about to say or do was the wrong thing (even if I “convinced” myself that it wasn’t) and I did it anyway.

Positive chain reaction

The good news is that we can also cause a positive chain reaction! In this way you can keep the “good times” rolling by learning the different languages that people speak, by seeking to understand someone else’s point of view (especially when it runs counter to your own), and by making sure that the people in your life feel valued and cared for in the way that they would best receive it.

In addition, when your relationships run into trouble (as they all will from time to time), you can utilize the “law of dominoes” to start the process of positive changes that will benefit you and the people around you.

For example, maybe you’re not getting along with a co-worker, a family member, or your significant other. You feel that you are not the one to blame for whatever has happened, and although you don’t like the anger, tension and frustration that has been building, you decide that until the other person makes things “right”, (or changes) you will not be the one to “give in” (or change).

Sound familiar? As I’ve studied relationships in general, I’ve found that many relationships eventually get “stuck” on this issue of; “Why should I be the one to change?” Unfortunately, most times the other person feels the same way that you do, so you end up being stuck and going nowhere.

Tipping the first one over

If our goal is to have better relationships with people, then shouldn’t we do the things that will help us reach that goal? Just as the dominoes I set up wouldn’t start to fall until I tipped the first one over; change in relationships (and our communication within) won’t happen, until someone makes the decision to be the one to change. If change will ultimately help and benefit you, isn’t it worth it to start it? The great part about this is when the positive chain reaction starts, it will keep going!

Author and marriage counselor Michelle Weiner-Davis puts it this way, “When one (person) changes, the other (person) changes too. It's a law of relationships. If you aren't getting what you need or want from your loved one, instead of trying to convince him or her to change, why not change your approach to the situation? Why not be more pragmatic? If what you're doing (talking to [the person] about the error of his/her ways) hasn't been working, no matter how sterling your logic, you're not going to get very far. Be more flexible and creative. Be more strategic. Spend more time trying to figure out what might work as opposed to being bent on driving your point home. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Look, life is short. We only have one go-around. Make your relationship(s) the best it (they) can possibly be. Stop waiting for your partner to change in order for things to be better. When you decide to change first, it will be the beginning of a solution avalanche. Try it, you'll like it!”

Until next time, thanks for reading!