My ex-wife was never a good speller. So many of the cards, or notes she wrote to me would often have a word that was spelled wrong. And, as the spelling bee champ of my junior high and one of the editors of my high school newspaper, I was always a stickler for accurate spelling and so it really bothered me when she spelled words incorrectly. (I’m not proud of this.)

It’s V-I-D-E-O...Geez!

There was one word in particular that she would spell incorrectly and that was video. She would often spell it V-I-E-D-O, and no matter how many times I tried to “help” her remember how to spell the word, it didn’t help. So, I’d continue being irritated about it, or making fun of her inability to spell words correctly. (Again, not proud of this.)

Then, one day, I discovered that she had met someone else and wanted out of our marriage. I was devastated and hoped that we’d find our way back together. (We didn’t.) 

Remember the movie Jerry McGuire? In the movie, Jerry McGuire (played by Tom Cruise) is the agent to a football player named Rod Tidwell (played by Cube Gooding Jr.). Tidwell is in the middle of a contract negotiation and he has not received the kind of offer from his team that he feels he deserves. 

In the famous “Help me-help you!” scene-Jerry is begging Rod to act like he cares about something other than money, to help secure a better offer from his team. To which Rod replies (angrily) “Wait a minute...you’re telling me to dance!” He’s upset because he doesn’t think he should have to “dance”...that his talent and worth to the team should be self-evident. 

Yet, it really doesn’t work that way, does it? Sometimes we all have to “dance!” Let me explain further ... 

You know that feeling you get when you come back to a restaurant whose food you really liked, only to find the food wasn't as good the next time?

I remember once when Kacy and I decided to pick up some Mexican food at a place around the corner from our home, that had become one of our "go to" restaurants. We really liked this place when it first opened because the food tasted pretty good and the price was unbeatable. 

When I arrived home I took the food out of the bag and immediately felt that my burrito seemed lighter than normal. Then they gave us only a couple of things of sauce and they gave us the wrong one! They had always included utensils-but forgot this time. And finally as I ate my burrito, I can tell you that while it tasted good, it didn't seem to taste as good as before.

When Kacy and I first tried the restaurant we were really impressed with it. Yet even as we were enjoying our first meal, we wondered if the restaurant would start to "chintz" on the food after they attracted customers. For example, remember when KFC was really "finger-licking good?" Remember when the Big Mac was, well, big?  Have you ever seen the "sandwich artist" at Subway weighing the meat on a scale before putting it on your sandwich? What is that about?

We go back to our favorite restaurants because the food is just as we remembered it and expected it right, every time we go. So, for a business to keep earning our business, it must continue to do the things it did in the first place to attract us to the business. And if it stops doing what you loved about it in the first place, don't you often find somewhere else to go? 

Your relationships work in the same way! So, if you've ever wondered how you can restore the good feelings that you had at the start of a relationship, think about the things that you did at the beginning that helped create those good feelings, and do those again!  

What are some of the things you've had to re-introduce into your marriage, friendships, family and work relationships to keep the good times going?