The Relationship Difference by Rommel Anacan
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Understanding People the "Frozen" Way

3/8/2015

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I realize that in mentioning the movie “Frozen” I may have lost many of you (especially parents) who are tired of having to hear “Let It Go” and “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” again and again and again and again and again and again and again~well, you get the picture, over the past year or so. 

But hear me out … 

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Picture Credit: Disney
There is so much that we can all learn about people and about ourselves in the movie, if we just take the time to notice the truths found in it. 

Stay with me here … 

Let’s take Elsa…what is her great power~the one thing that sets her apart from everyone? That’s right, she has ice powers! Now, her great gift can be an incredibly amazing, powerful thing, or it can cause serious damage…and during the movie, we saw both sides of Elsa’s gifting. 

When her ice powers injured her sister in the beginning of the movie, what did her parents do? They put gloves on her, told her to stop hanging with her sister and gave her this advice, “Conceal, don’t feel.”

In other words, the message that Elsa received was “Don’t be who you are! You’re just going to hurt people if you allow who you are to come through!” Better to hide, stay in the shadows, conform and play the game that everyone tells you is the right one to play. 

Have you ever felt like Elsa? I have. 

All Anna wanted was to keep playing with Elsa and she didn’t understand why that stopped. So, she spent years hoping for companionship, longing to be in relationship with her sister … then it evolved to just having relationships with anyone, because she felt so alone. Then we see that this affected her so much that she agreed to marry someone within five minutes after meeting him, when they finally “opened the gates.” 

The message that Anna received was that she wasn’t worthy enough for her sister to have a relationship with her. In other words, she felt she was alone because something was wrong with her. She wasn't told that Elsa was staying away from her because of her own "issues" and not because of anything Anna did. In fact, Elsa really was showing love in many ways by staying away...which, of course, wouldn't look or feel like love if you were Anna. 

Have you ever felt like Anna? I have. 

If we’re honest we’ve all felt like Elsa and Anna. And I think this is why the movie became such a phenomenon. (Yes, I know catchy songs don’t hurt either!) 

So, as you interact with friends, family, clients, co-workers and others, remember that:

  • Everyone has a “gift” that they’d love to give the world…why not be the one to recognize it?
  • If someone doesn’t know what their gifting is, why not help them find it?
  • If someone is not sure what to do with their gift, why not show them how to use it?
  • If someone is ashamed of their gift, why not help them embrace it?
  • We all need people in our lives...it's what we were created for, to be in community


And lastly….remember you have a gift too. And it can be scary to “let it go” (sorry, I couldn’t resist) and you WILL face opposition and ridicule, but you’ll also find people along the way cheering you on, hoping that you will finally one day embrace YOU. 

So, “Let it Go!” (Just don’t sing the song, or play it or anything, because we’ve all heard it millions of times…) 
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    Rommel Anacan

    I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm also
    the president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

    My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively. 

    More about me and this blog here!

    FIRST TIME HERE?

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