The Relationship Difference by Rommel Anacan
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The Second Button

9/21/2012

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“The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, its too high, its in no-mans-land. You look like you live with your mother!"  
-Jerry Seinfeld to George Costanza  

Fans of "Seinfeld" will recognize the above lines from the first and final episodes of the iconic show. And I have to tell you, Jerry Seinfeld was absolutely correct; the second button really does make or break a shirt. For something so small, it can really make the difference between a favorite shirt and one that remains in the back of the closet. 

For instance, I have a white shirt that I just don't wear very often. Since it is my only casual, cotton white button-down shirt, I end up wanting to use it a lot. Then I put it on (again) and realize (again) that it just doesn't feel right. So back in the closet it goes. 

What's wrong with it? Yep, the second button! If I button it I look like someone from the Geek Squad. If I don't button it, it looks like I never left the 70's and 80's when the unbuttoned shirt was "in" for men. So, the white shirt only comes out a couple of times a year when I am in some type of  dire need for a casual white shirt.  

How could such a small thing have such a big effect?
Have you ever noticed that the same things happen in our relationships with people? I've found that many relationships don't end in some enormous one time fireball that engulfed the relationship and blew it up. Rather, most relationships run into trouble because of the little things...ike an incorrectly placed second button on a shirt.

Have you ever gotten irritated at the person in your office who always takes you up on your offer to buy coffee or lunch to give him or her a ride, but never seems to do the same. Do you have someone that you work with who is a really nice guy, but always just seems to talk longer than he should? Don't we all know "that guy" who always seems to forget to say "thank you", chats on his cell phone in the middle of church, or takes the last two donuts when there is someone else behind him waiting to grab one?

Conencting with many different types of people isn't always easy. After all some people don't make it easy. But if you remember that it's the little things that matter...like saying "thank you", like not entering an office when the door is closed, like making sure someone is able to talk before you verbally throw up all over them, perhaps you'll make it a little easier on yourself and the people around you. 

The second button may seem little, but it does make or break the shirt. The little things in your relationships can make or break them as well. 

Now it's your turn! Do you have any relationship pet peeves? Do you violate your own pet peeves? 
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    Rommel Anacan

    I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm also
    the president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

    My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively. 

    More about me and this blog here!

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