I realize that in mentioning the movie “Frozen” I may have lost many of you (especially parents) who are tired of having to hear “Let It Go” and “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” again and again and again and again and again and again and again~well, you get the picture, over the past year or so. 

But hear me out … 

There is so much that we can all learn about people and about ourselves in the movie, if we just take the time to notice the truths found in it. 

Stay with me here … 

Let’s take Elsa…what is her great power~the one thing that sets her apart from everyone? That’s right, she has ice powers! Now, her great gift can be an incredibly amazing, powerful thing, or it can cause serious damage…and during the movie, we saw both sides of Elsa’s gifting. 

Every time I drive on California's infamous freeways, I am reminded that my life and well-being is often in the hands of the dude next to me who is shaving, the woman on the other side applying mascara, and the teenager behind me texting her "BFF", sipping her very hot caramel frappuccino while steering her car with her knee.

People do some interesting things while driving, don't they? My favorite is when I'm driving on the freeway and a driver of a car (probably a silver or white Toyota Camry) decides to move into my lane without communicating his intention by using the turn signals. My first indication that he wants to merge into my lane is when I see the "OH FUDGE" look on his face as he (finally) realizes I was in the lane first. (My second indication is when he "flips me off" as if it was my fault!) 

As drivers, it's our responsibility to clearly indicate our intentions to the drivers around us. If I'm making a lane change, I need to use my turn signals in enough time to allow other drivers to prepare. I need to make sure that my brake and reverse lights work. The law requires us to even use hand signals if our turn signals don't work!

Why all of these rules and regulations? Because driving is dangerous and it's vital that everyone on the road clearly communicate their intentions! If you don't clearly communicate what you're doing and an accident occurs, you may be held responsible for the damage. 

The same is true in our communication with the people around us! 

So often when communicating with people we end up being like the guy who doesn't use his blinkers, hits another car and then says, "But I thought he saw me!" Or perhaps he would say, "But he should have known that I was changing lanes. It's only obvious! COME ON MAN!!"

It's our responsibility to make sure that the thought we want to communicate is the thought that is being communicated. It isn't the responsibility of those around you to read your mind, or see what you intended to say, as opposed to what you actually said. This means that we need to learn, observe and be respectful of the different ways that people communicate, so that we can speak each other's language. 

How can I know how to communicate clearly with the people in my life?

The first way is to observe what people say and do. The people around you telegraph what they need from you~you just need to observe, without judging and without trying to change to control people! (I know, that's difficult at times!) Some people are more extroverted, others introverted. Others communicate VERY directly, while others communicate so indirectly it's hard to know what they're trying to tell you! Be a good student of people and watch and observe.

Second~it's always a good idea to ask someone how they prefer to communicate. Would they rather an email instead of a live conversation? Do they want you to ask them if you're free before jumping into a story? Is there someone who could really use encouraging words in person, instead of an "impersonal" email? 

Then once you have a better idea of how the people around you are "wired" you can take the steps you need to use the right "turn signals" at the right time with them. 

Make it easy for people, and it will be easier for you too! 

Yes I know~we've all seen these "Five Things" and "Five Ways" lists all over blog posts, but this one is different. Promise! Well, at the very least, I know these ideas will help you be a more effective manager...especially number one!

1) Better Coffee in the Office: Listen, Folger’s was great for your parents and all, but in the office, isn’t it time for an upgrade? And please offer real cream along with the powdered stuff! (Have you seen what’s in the powdered creamer?)

Alright, so this isn’t really a completely serious resolution-but there are things you can do to show your people that you really do care about them, that may not cost as much money as you think-and coffee isn't a bad place to start! Remember, a happy office is a more productive office!

2) Read Two Professional/Personal Development Books This Year: One of the simplest things you can do to increase your effectiveness is to be mentored by some of the top leadership minds in the world … and you can do that by reading their books! I would recommend that you read one book in the first half of the year and another book in the second.

I’d also recommend that you pick up a journal and take notes, jot down thoughts, ideas, inspirations that arise from your reading.

Here are some books I love:

Winning with People-Discover the People Principles That Work For You Every Time-by John Maxwell

Monday Morning Mentoring-Ten Lessons to Guide You Up The Ladder by David Cottrell

Tuesdays With Morrie- by Mitch Albom

3) Set a Positive Tone When You Walk into the Office: Do you remember when you were just starting out that feeling you had when you knew the manager was coming into the office-and how the entire mood of the whole place could change instantly depending on the mood of your manager?

The same thing is happening today.

Your people watch how you enter the office and their mood can be determined by yours. After all, if the boss seems ticked off and angry, your people aren’t going to want to act like they’ve just won a trip to Disneyland. They’re going to sit at their desks, on pins and needles, wondering what they should do and how they should do it.

So regardless of your actual mood-when you walk in the office, greet everyone, smile, say, “It’s good to see you!” and then if you need to isolate yourself in the office for a little bit, go and do it so you don’t bring the whole office down.

4) Find Out What Drives and Motivates Every Member of Your Team: We are all driven by something-if you can figure out what truly motivates your people to get up in the morning and come to work, you can bring out the best in them. Incidentally, the motivation is probably not just the paycheck!

Schedule some coffee time with your team members, individually, and ask them what motivates them, what drives them, what makes the day rewarding or deflating, what do they want to do with their lives and how        does their job tie in to their “big picture.”

5) ABC-Always Be Coaching: One of your most important functions is giving constant feedback and coaching to your associates. They want to do well…they really do! So when you see them doing something well, be sure to acknowledge it, both personally and publicly.

When someone’s actions need correcting, do it as soon as you can and do it in private! I know it’s not always a fun talk to have, but they will appreciate your doing it now, than telling them about it six months from now during their performance reviews.

What are some of your resolutions? 

Until they merged with United Airlines I made a decision that I would NEVER again fly Continental Airlines. Ever. This was all because of one bad experience I had with a member of the Continental crew while traveling.

After this experience whenever I saw a commercial or marketing piece for Continental, I thought of this crew member and how she treated me. No amount of colorful airline livery or fancy marketing would ever replace the fact that to me that associate was Continental Airlines. And since I didn’t like my experience with her, I didn’t like the company. Period. End of story.

What does this have to do with your company?

I don’t care if your CEO has degrees from Harvard, Yale and Oxford; or if your executives have every certification given in the multi-family universe; if your regional managers are the most intelligent and articulate groups of regionals the industry has ever seen . . . to the average customer, they are not your ‘brand.’

The people sitting behind the desks are your brand. The people answering the phones at your offices, stores, car lots, front desks etc. responding to emails, monitoring your social media spaces and taking clients on tour are your company to the average customer.

Remember your first day?

I remember my first day working for a well-respected real estate company. I was a leasing consultant responsible for renting apartments that rented for $1,860 per month, all the way up to over $4,000 per month! Now how much time and effort do you think was spent preparing me to be the face of this mega-multi-million dollar community and of the company’s brand before I met with my first client?

One hour!

On my first day I was given the tour, handed the keys to the model and golf cart, showed where my desk was and given the book of many, many floorplans and a site map. I shadowed a manager on one tour and then was then let loose to help customers and become the face of this iconic community.

How good do you think I was in my first 30 days? Not very. In looking back, the people I worked with just had very full plates, so they really wanted (needed) me to figure things out on my own. While I can understand that, it doesn't change the fact that life was still difficult for me in those early days and I wasn't doing the company any favors either. 

When I got the chance to manage my own community I didn’t want my people to go through what I went through. I didn’t want someone to become the face of my community and company (and me!) without preparing them for the role.

Here is what I did:

1. I developed a new hire on-boarding program. I walked my people through all aspects of their jobs; giving them all of the tools, techniques and secrets that I learned during my career. (Eventually my company adopted some of these ideas and created an on-boarding program for all associates.)
2. I didn’t allow my new hires to help clients until they went through the program and felt they were ready. This period lasted anywhere from one week to two weeks, depending on the person.
3. I personally worked with and trained my new team members because I wanted to be the dominant influence in the early stages of their careers.

I’m not going to lie, doing these meant more work for me! There were times I thought I was nuts to do this. But when the results showed me that the effort was worth it, I was thrilled! When the office could essentially run itself and I didn’t need to be involved in the minutiae, I knew it was worth it!

Of course, the specifics of your situation may be different~but the important question to ask yourself is this...

How have you prepared your people to be the face of your brand?

I remember a story I read a few years ago from a book (I think it was Living Large by Sarah Wexler) in which the author described the experiences of a young woman who was a sales associate in a national retail chain. This sales associate proudly explained the strategy that helped her sell jeans to men and it goes something like this … (paraphrasing) 

“When a guy comes out of the fitting room in a pair of jeans, I stare at his butt several times as he looks in the mirror. Then when ne notices me “checking him out,” I act embarrassed and flustered and smile nervously so that he thinks he caught me admiring how he looks in the pair of jeans. This usually encourages guys to buy those jeans!”

As this associate went on to tell the story, it was clear that the higher ups in the store approved of her selling strategy; after all, she was getting the results everyone wanted; the young woman hit her numbers, the store likes sales, and the customer thought the cute woman in the store was checking him out, so everyone was happy, right?

So, what’s the problem?

There was a part of me that figured that United Airlines would have someone else who could/would do the visual inspection of the aircraft, freeing up the pilot to do all of his pre-flight preparations in the cockpit. Yet, even if there is someone else who could do it and does do it, I can understand why the pilot would do it also; after all, it’s “his” plane isn’t it? And his life and the lives of the passengers on the flight (like me) are counting on him! 

In other words, regardless of what anyone else is supposed to do, he is ultimately responsible isn’t he? 

A few days ago my wife and I had a “discussion” that was particularly illuminating and frustrating all at the same time. I realized that I was approaching a situation in our relationship in a way that I felt was respectful and thoughtful; however she revealed that my actions were not perceived as being respectful and thoughtful at all! In fact, she thought that I was being the opposite of respectful and thoughtful! This was the frustrating part!

The illuminating part was seeing once again, just how different we really are. In my attempts to do the right thing, I ended up doing the wrong thing in her eyes. In her attempts to do the right thing, she ended up doing the wrong thing in my eyes. 

Sound familiar?

I had jury duty today. Fun, I know!  

Actually, I really wanted to serve on the jury but I was excused. I think it was because I disclosed that I have a friend who is a police officer. The defense attorney looked at me, smiled and politely dismissed me. I was disappointed...but not surprised, after all the attorneys can choose whom they think will best help their clients and I suppose being good friends with a police officer didn't sit well with the defendant. 

As I was waiting in the jury lounge I had heard many people complaining about having to be there. One person said that she was called 2-3 years ago and couldn't believe she was called again. Someone else was just upset that he was there.

I understand...I got up extra early this morning to make sure that I could get one of the free juror parking spaces near the courthouse. (As luck would have it, I got the last space.) Then I had to maneuver through a couple of construction zones around the courthouse and had to deal with the fact that I don't know my way around our downtown very well...and that it's located about 30 minutes away from our home.

But still...the complaining bothered me. I guess its because I feel we all have a responsibility to each other in our community. Can you imagine what juries would be like if the only people who served were people who weren't inconvenienced by the whole thing? Scary.

If I were ever in a position (heaven forbid) where I needed a jury trial, I would want the best and the brightest that my town has, to judge me fairly.

At any rate...too often I think we forget that we all have a responsibility to each other. Maybe it's because we all live in a highly suburbanized world where privacy is paramount, and we all go to work in our private cars, spend our hours at work in our private office/cubicles, drive home from work in private cars, and come home to our private houses and maybe if we're bold, we wave to our neighbor as the garage door closes behind us.

Yet...at the end of the day, we are all connected aren't we?

How many people do you know that started their own record store, recording label, airline, space tourism company, and other ventures? He is estimated to be worth almost five billion dollars … and oh, by the way, he is also a knight in the United Kingdom for his contributions to entrepreneurship; so he is technically, “Sir” Richard Branson. 

Not bad for someone without a college degree. 

It seems that everyday on my Facebook page are posts from friends who are involved with a variety of multi-level marketing (MLM, network marketing, direct selling, etc.) businesses. Whether it’s Amway, Herbalife, BeachBody, LegalShield and more, I don’t remember a time when more people I know have been involved in a MLM business! If you’re new to the MLM industry or a seasoned vet, I’m writing directly to you! 

My Experience

Before I go any further, you should know that I was affiliated with a very large and well-known MLM for many years. I have many positive experiences related to being connected with this company and this industry, and as long as a company and its people are reputable and ethical, I am all for this model of doing business.