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Manti Te'o a Fake Girlfriend and the Real Hoax We All Face

1/18/2013

2 Comments

 
Manti Te'o was the darling of the college football world this past season. When he announced that his grandma and girlfriend both died on the same day and then went out and played an incredible game in front of a national audience, the legend grew. He became the symbol of all that is good in athletics. Proof that the "good guy" can finish first. Te'o was a Heisman Trophy finalist and led the Notre Dame football team to the BCS Championship Game, where they lost to Alabama. 
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A bombshell article on Deadspin.com broke the story that Te'o's girlfriend did not pass away from leukemia...she wasn't real.  The story also alleges that Te'o may have been in on it. 

In fairness Te'o and Notre Dame have stated that he was the victim of an elaborate hoax. So where is the truth in this?
Frankly, everything about this saddens me. If Manti Te'o was duped into having an online relationship with someone whom he later thought died of leukemia, how awful is that? I mean, who does that? And for what? 

If he was in on the hoax...then what does that say about him? What does that say about the price and/or the pursuit of fame? Was achieving more publicity the motivation behind lying to the world? Why would he risk his reputation on a fake story?

The arrows are understandably flying in Te'o's direction right now as people begin to doubt the story they had believed about him. The story of his girlfriend dying of leukemia and his response to it was a central part of the narrative that was told about Te'o. It was a huge reason why people, many of whom weren't even Notre Dame fans, started to cheer for him this year.

Yet before you and I aim one more arrow at him perhaps we'd be wise to see the ways that we might be creating hoaxes, both big and small, in our lives. 
  • Are you living in more home than you really need to impress people?
  • Are you driving a car that you really can't afford because it looks good?
  • Are you living a lifestyle that you can't sustain to keep up with the neighborhood?
  • Are you pretending that nothing is wrong on Sunday at church, but falling apart the rest of the week?
  • Are you afraid to stand up for what you believe in because of the fear that other people will reject you?
  • Are you pretending to be someone you know you're really not?


I'll be the first to admit, I've been guilty of perpetuating hoaxes in my life. And, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think we all have. It's part of the human condition and no one is immune from it. (Thanks Adam and Eve.)

Yet, at the heart of every hoax is the idea that the real story isn't good enough. That the real YOU, the beautiful, the ugly, the light, the dark, the hurts and the joys are not enough. That people won't like you if they know the truth. That people won't understand if they see beneath the surface. That people will abandon you if you have the wrong car, or house, or clothes, or friends. 

And perhaps that is the biggest hoax of all...this mistaken idea that YOU alone are not enough. 

You are! 
2 Comments
Mindy sharp
1/23/2013 03:50:23 am

What an astute article! Oh, yes, I have often been guilty of not thinking I am good enough. The fear of people knowing who you really are is probably what makes liars out of us at times. What we need to do as parents especially, is teach our children that they can make mistakes without the fear of severe retribution and punishment. I am so grateful to have read your words today.

Reply
Rommel Anacan
1/23/2013 04:49:00 am

Thank you for reading Mindy! Sometimes I feel it wasn't until I hit my mid-30s that I really started embracing who I am...and it still is a work in progress! (=

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    Rommel Anacan

    I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm also
    the president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

    My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively. 

    More about me and this blog here!

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