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How to Communicate So Other People Will Want to Listen

9/7/2012

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Last week, I blogged about a situation I had on Facebook when I someone I didn't know called me "misinformed and ignorant" about some political views I shared. You see, I commented on a mutual friend's post and his friend jumped in with the exact quite below:

"And because I tire of writing posts to the misinformed and ignorant, wouldn't it be nice to learn about things for yourself (?)”

Afterward his diatribe and the above sentence, he included links to several websites so that I could get my facts straight next time. Apparently it was because this fellow was tired of constantly having to correct all the ignorant peoples like myself on Facebook.

Now let me ask you this...do you think I clicked on any of those websites? Do you think I wanted to listen to anything he had to say? Would you?

The funny thing is, I think he thought I would really check out his recommended sites! But what he said and how he said it had the opposite effect of what he intended. Instead of wanting to listen to what he had to say, I dug in my heels even more (internally) and was determined to tell myself that the dude was an idiot.

What are some ways that you can help your communication be received by your audience?

  • FOCUS ON YOUR GOAL: If what you are about to say or do will not help you achieve your goal, don't do it! Even if you want to. Even if you think you've earned the right to. Even if the person you're speaking to "deserves it!" If you will not help your cause by saying something a certain way, say it differently!
  • IT"S NOT ABOUT BEING 'RIGHT' ALL THE TIME: Remember Brainy Smurf? Did anyone really like him? When you spend a lot of time trying to prove how right you are; human nature often motivates other people to try and prove how wrong you are! Remember, if you have a goal of wanting to be heard, you have to communicate in ways that motivates other people to want to hear what you have to say!
  • VALIDATE OTHER POINTS OF VIEW: If you have ever watched current television show host Mike Huckabee, you will see the power of validation in action. Huckabee is a Republican who somehow manages to get Democrats to exclaim that they would vote for him if he ran again! And its not because Huckabee shies away from expressing his opinion, but its because he validates what other people are thinking and feeling, even if he doesn't agree with it. People are willing to listen to what he has to say, because he does the same for them.
Now it's your turn! What things would you add to this list that helps make your communication more effective?
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Rocket Man: More Proof That Cutting Corners Doesn't Work

9/7/2012

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GEEK ALERT!! I loved launching model rockets. I really did. There's just something really cool about watching a small rocket fly up 1,000 feet in the air and parachute back down. Well, in my mid-20s I was in a large box store and saw a model rocket of an X-Wing fighter (just like the one pictured above) of Star Wars fame. I had not launched a rocket in over 10 years at that point and seeing that X-Wing fighter brought back a floor of memories, so I decided to buy it.

As soon as I left the store, I took it to a field to launch. After a half hour, it was ready and I placed it on the launch pad, counted down and pressed the ignition button. With a loud WHOOOOOSHHHH the X-Wing lifted off. Oh yeah! My heart raced with excitement as I saw it soar up into the skies.

After a few seconds, the rocket motor stopped; the nose cone was ejected and the parachute was deployed. The X-Wing started to come down slowly . . .then suddenly, it plummeted to the ground! I ran to the point of impact and saw that the parachute separated from the main body. My X-Wing was severely damaged. It looked as if Darth Vader got to it! Upon further review I realized that I was, unfortunately, Darth Vader.

In a model rocket, the parachute is deployed when the engine shoots out a small blast from the top of it, pushing the nose cone and the parachute out of the rocket. To prevent the parachute from being melted by the blast from the engine, you need to place a layer of wadding (which is kind of like flame-resistant tissue) to protect the parachute.

Here's the deal, recovery wadding is two-ply; but before launch I decided to tear the sheets apart and only use one sheet of wadding in the rocket. I figured I'd save money by doing it this way!"It will last twice as long now!" Unfortunately, the downsized wadding allowed the blast of hot air from the engine to melt the rubber band that connected the noise cone (and parachute) to the main body of my X-Wing.

No parachute = No slow floating back to the ground=FAIL!

It's a good thing the Rebel Alliance wasn't counting on me because the rocket was a total loss. For all I know parts of it may still be in that field! All to save a few pennies.

Now it's your turn! What are some ways you tried to cut corners, only to find it wasn't worth it?

Please comment below and join in the conversation!
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    Rommel Anacan

    I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm also
    the president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

    My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively. 

    More about me and this blog here!

    FIRST TIME HERE?

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